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Connecting to the Disconnect

October 10, 2007

I had an odd sort of day yesterday.  As I wandered around the web and checked into some of the sites and blogs that move me and teach, I felt truly expanded.  It felt as though new places were created inside of and I found new ways to connect to others, to support and feel supported.  It was a sort of silence…after all, I cannot hear your voices by listening with my ears.  Instead, I must listen carefully with my soul.  Then I can hear you clearly and can feel heard in return.

So, yesterday in the silence, I was heard and I heard you… and I heard the distinct weeping and giggling of the Divine.  I heard Her cheering for all of us who are learning and growing.  I heard the tinkling of Her champagne flute as She toasted our success and our growing wisdom.

But as I left this cyberworld and went out to do some of the mundane things of my life, I felt oddly detatched.  I don’t mean that healthy detachment, that Knowing that whatever is happening or will happen, I’m okay.  This was more of a confusion almost, as if I could not understand the craziness that the world generates.  You know the kind of craziness I mean: drivers yelling at one other, fairly reasonable women fighting each other for the best parking spot, images of bodies and faces that drive home my own imperfections, load voices, tv blaring advertisements for things that noone could actually need….

My husband called me on the phone and wanted to speak to me about something, a problem with a car part he was trying to order.  I finally had to tell him that we could speak at that time….it seemed so ridiculous to me that this was something worth discussing.  How does thatmeasure up to women finding their own Truth and validating the Truth of others?  How is that a true problem…that part can be replaced by going to any car supply store while women are struggling to replace pieces of their souls that they have sold off or squandered or buried or simply mis-placed.

We went to Wal-Mart…I was dizzy with all the stuff that was around me.  I could not choose the simplest thing: which fabric softener did I want and which scent, which paper towels and cups and pants for my daughter and diskettes for the computer.  None of it seemed to make sense and I could not bring myself to care.

See, something happened to me yesterday.  I felt real.  I felt true.  I know that I have had those moments before, but I gorged myself on it yesterday.  I read so many things and said so many things that are who I am….

I connected to that which just Is.   I felt the presence of Her every moment of the day that I was alone.  I was truly connected to that which connects us all.

I know that those mundane things are still real too.  My daughter really does need new school pants so I will need to pick them and purchase them.   My car is important to me because it is a piece a representation of my freedom and serves an important purpose so we will need to find which store has the right part and we’ll need to get that too.  I love fabric softener…really!  It makes everything smell so nice and it’s important to me that the things that touch my skin feel good to me, soft and gentle.  I will sort through all of those choices and find one that satisfies those needs too.  All of the mundane things are important in there own way.

And I know that if I had remembered yesterday to ground often, if I had remembered to allow the amazing Energies to flow rather than sitting in so much wonder that I had to try to hold them all inside of my own skin, if I had remembered..well, it would have been much easier to be connected to the world “out there”.  I know that not grounding as I know I should shows a type of spiritual immaturity, a lack of remembering the basics.  I know that my teachers would remind me that I’ve always had too much Water, that I allow emotion to overflow rather than just flow.  I would have to spend today doing only physical things, moving my body, feeding my body, feeling my body.

I, however, am grateful for that experience.  I’m glad to know that I can be so open and can See so clearly that I can get thrown for a loop.  I’m glad to know that my mundane-ness can be so soundly interrupted that the Divine becomes radiant.

I will spend part of today focused on being grounded.  I will remember today to feed my body as well as my soul.  I will remember to frequently “check in” with myself and be sure that I am present as well as Present.

And I’ll giggle sometimes as I remember my own confusion as I stared and shelves and shelves full of fabric softener with different colored lids and thought to myself, “WTF???”!

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 10, 2007 6:43 pm

    I so know where you are coming from! I experienced the same thing several days ago. Thanks for posting this – it’s good to know I’m not the only one 🙂

  2. Grace permalink
    October 10, 2007 8:32 pm

    You know, it’s only been in the last decade or so that I’ve really begun to cherish women as friends. Before that time, I didn’t necessarily ‘like’ women. Sure, I’d have maybe one good girlfriend, but I much rathered associate and work with men. Many of my best friends were males….

    Then something switched. I began falling in love with the bond that women can share…the depth of emotion and experience that they hold..the creativity,spirituality, and raw energy. Much of this switch had to do with me healing “Mother” issues, I think…. but all I know now is that I do not know what I’d do without female friendships.

    When I came to a point in my spiritual walk where I embraced God from a feminine standpoint (maybe 2 years ago???), that created another switch….There is magic that happens between women 🙂 I’m so happy to be a part of the magic that is happening here, with you (all) !!!

  3. signmom permalink*
    October 10, 2007 9:05 pm

    Grace, I am in the beginning of the process now..just now feeling the way She falls in love with us and myself “falling in love” with the amazing representations of Her that walk around the world with me dressed in woman-skin.

  4. October 12, 2007 10:03 pm

    Ah, woman-skin. Love that!

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